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Published:September 5th, 2012 12:09 EST

Honey Boo Boo Child: Brightest Star In The Milky Way

By Robert Paul Reyes

Recently MTV announced that the next season of "Jersey Shore" would be the last one. Millions of decent people rejoiced in the knowledge that the most execrable show on TV would soon be off the air. No more whorish and drunken antics from Snooki and her moron friends, no more dissolute behavior that would make a prostitute blush.


But my friends, the truth is that things are getting worse, not better in TV land. MTV has given most of the "stars" from "Jersey Shore" shows of their own.

TLC has done MTV one better, or I should say one worse, by airing a reality show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", that makes "Jersey Shore" seem like "Masterpiece Theatre."

Honey Boo Boo Child and her redneck clan, including a pet pig and a newborn niece with two thumbs in one hand are a huge sensation. Most Americans would rather have a Go-Go juice with Honey Boo Boo than enjoy a beer with President Obama.

If a celeb has a nickname and a catch phrase she is destined for superstardom, 7-year-old Alana Jackson has a nickname, and several catchphrases, including "You`d betta redneckognize." In fact all of the Jacksons have a nickname. Dad is called Sugar Bear; Honey Boo Boo`s sisters are Pumpkin, Chickadee and Chubbs. The mom is simply known as an abomination, by anyone who has seen the reality show.

You may think that "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" is child exploitation at its worst, or you may think the show is harmless fun, but you`d betta redneckognize that Honey Boo Boo child is the biggest star in the known universe.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia.Org

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