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Published:September 7th, 2012 09:31 EST

Honey Boo Boo Child Is The Shirley Temple Of Our Generation

By Robert Paul Reyes

Americans don`t give a fig about Mitt Romney`s tax returns, and we are resigned to the fact that we will never know for sure where Obama was born, but we are dying to find out how much Honey Boo Boo Child and her redneck clan makes per episode.

There are tons of articles speculating how much the family is making, and most sources, including the Hollywood Reporter, peg the amount at $2,000 to $4,000 per episode. To most of us that doesn`t seem like a lot, we expect reality stars to rake in the dollars.

One of Honey Boo Boo Child`s catchphrases is "A Dolla Makes Me Holla", is the precocious child hollering about her financial compensation? My guess is that Honey Boo Boo and her family is hollering like country bumpkins who just got free tickets for a Monster Truck show.

Four thousand dollars translates into a lot of whiskey, fried Twinkies, fried chicken, Daisy Dukes, chewing tobacco, mustard greens, pork rinds...

But Honey Boo Boo`s agent should demand millions for the child star, Honey Boo Boo is the Shirley Temple for our generation, she makes us forget, if only for a few moments, that the Apocalypse is right around the corner.

In a few years Honey Boo Boo will need 4K per episode to pay for her crack addiction; surely the poor child will be a junkie by then.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Teenager will make "Jersey Shore` seem like a Disney production.

Enjoy your twisted childhood, Honey Boo Boo Child!

Photo Credit: Wikipedia.Org

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