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Published:September 17th, 2012 17:55 EST

Countrified Craziness: Country Bumpkin Finds Ex Living In Her Attic

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A South Carolina woman said she was shocked to discover her ex-boyfriend from 12 years ago has been living in her attic.

The Rock Hill mother of five, who identified herself as Tracy, said her one-year relationship with the 44-year-old man, whose name was not released, ended 12 years ago due to his drug use and conviction for robbing a flower shop. "



I`m shocked to discover that a low-income person living in the South has a house with an attic. I thought all country bumpkins lived in trailers or Chevy vans.

There must be more to this story than meets the eye, the only way you can live in somebody`s attic without anybody noticing is by standing still and never moving. You can hear a spider crawling around in a typical attic, this dude must have been Mr. Twinkle Toes.

The intruder left without explaining himself before the cops showed up. I would have told the dude: you have some "splaining to do while pointing my shotgun at his noggin.

This story reads like an episode of Jerry Springer, all that`s missing is the disbled pink-haired blind lesbian stripper with six toes on each foot.

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