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Published:September 25th, 2012 13:55 EST

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child! Deal With It!

By Robert Paul Reyes

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!

This is the title of The Learning Channel`s (TLC) runaway hit featuring a 7-year-old beauty pageant contestant and her redneck family.

Some critics chide TLC for not offering educational fare, instead of reality shows. But I contend that you can`t understand America and feel its pulse, unless you immerse yourself in pop culture. We learn more about our great nation by enjoying the antics of Honey Boo Boo, than by viewing a documentary about our educational system.


The faux reality of most reality shows quickly grows tiresome, but Honey Boo Boo and her family are as real as a road kill dinner or a pet pig. This country family doesn`t put on any airs; they fart and sneeze with impunity, and without offering any apologies.

The reality family claims to subscribe to the " farting diet", they fart to blow the pounds away. Given the fact that every member of this family resembles a baby hippo, I wouldn`t place much stock in this unique diet. But if you live with these rednecks for a few weeks, you will lose weight because you will be too disgusted to eat much.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a WARNING!

A warning that the Apocalypse is at hand, and that a miniature John the Baptist (Honey Boo Boo) is preparing the way for the Antichrist. After a steady diet of farts and redneck shenanigans, you won`t be too alarmed when the Beast reveals himself as the Son of God.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a BOAST!

TLC doesn`t make any excuses or apologies for its most popular program. "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"  is a declarative sentence that is dripping with pride. Why shouldn`t TLC be proud, the production costs are minimal, but its profits are huge.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a CALL TO ACTION

Here comes Honey Boo Boo is a call to action, you can`t ignore the ubiquitous child star. The precocious child is on magazine covers, TV talk shows, Web site front pages, and of course on TLC. You have to deal with Honey Boo Boo Child, you have to condemn what her success represents, or embrace her in a real or ironic fashion.

I`m a hipster who believes that life is basically absurd, and I pray that Honey Boo Boo Child will grow up to become the President of the United States.

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