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Published:October 2nd, 2012 12:48 EST
Gloria Loring: "Coincidence is God`s Way of Remaining Anonymous"

Gloria Loring: "Coincidence is God`s Way of Remaining Anonymous"

By Gloria Loring

The premise of Gloria`s book, Coincidence is God`s Way of Remaining Anonymous: Coincidences offer us life-changing signposts. They may be great opportunities, or they might be warnings that something is wrong and needs our attention. That`s exactly what happened to me.

*Story: When I was three years old, I was awakened by the crushing weight of my father on top of me, reeking of alcohol and in a state of arousal. That traumatic event forever altered my relationship with my father, and led me through years of suffering and dangerous attractions.

*Clues: There were clues all along as to the effect of that night, if I had known how to decipher them. I couldn`t bear to be touched while sleeping. The smell of alcoholism on someone`s body made me want to run from the room. I was coincidently drawn to magazine articles that discussed the symptoms of sexual abuse. They described me perfectly.

*Help: When I was ready, a series of coincidences led me to seek professional help. What I learned was that regardless of the age of the child or the frequency of abuse, an event such as I experienced leaves a traumatic memory. The result? Shame, occasions of unaccountable rage, uncontrollable grief, and reoccurring thoughts of suicide.

*Damage: I learned that the emotional damage caused from these kinds of unhealed incidents is long-lasting. Victims` experiences are sometimes dismissed, waved away as just a messy moment in time. Yet victims are left as I was, with a lifetime of anguish, fear, and unanswered questions.

*Memories: My doctor revealed that a three-year-old may not have the language to describe what happened, but the sense memories of smell and touch are powerful, and can help us recall and heal traumatic experiences. My sense memories of that night were vivid, and remain so: the sickening smell of stale alcohol, parts of my body going numb where his weight was pressing, and a scream that rose up out of me and went on for minutes.

*Healing: My goal in telling this story is to help other victims understand that an experience of inappropriate intimacy is indelibly imprinted in memory and the emotional scars last a lifetime, yet these long-ago traumas can be healed, as mine have been.

Coincidence, the coinciding of meaningful events, can help lead us to recovery from childhood trauma.

Out of my healing process, I wrote "Song Of My Father." The lyrics are below.


Song of My Father


Lyrics by Gloria Loring, c. Only Silk Music

I wanted you to be my hero

I saw the way we were as law

But the rules were always changing

I learned that trusting was a flaw

So I accepted consolations

Set my soul in compromise

Gave up to other`s expectations

And never looked inside my eyes

And I staked my life on the music

I put my heart to the pen

And tried not to dance to the same old tune

Again and again and again

And with all that we`ve been through

I do love you

There are bonds that can`t be broken

There`s the truth of who we are

We share a family heirloom

Your wound became my scar

And it toughens my defenses

But it`s not my destiny

For my life`s been marked by miracles

One of them is you and me

And I stake my life on the music

I put my heart to the pen

I try not to dance to the same old tune

Again and again and again

And because of all that we`ve been through

I do love you

Ms. Loring is based in Los Angeles and NYC and available for interviews.


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