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Published:November 11th, 2012 11:36 EST

Study: Folks Who Live Close To A Bar Drink More! Ya Think?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A new study finds that people who live close to a bar tend to drink more.

A group of Finnish researchers collected data from nearly 55,000 participants from 2000 to 2009. The study found that heavy and extreme drinking occurred when people lived about a half-mile away from the bar."



At least this time it wasn`t American taxpayer money that funded research to validate the obvious.

Of course your proximity to a bar is a factor in how much alcohol you consume. If you live in an apartment on top of a bar, chances are that your blood will be 190 proof. Hell, if I lived next door to a tavern I would drop by at least twice a day, just to be neighborly.

I wonder what study these Finnish researchers will tackle next. Perhaps they will survey men who live close to a brothel, to determine if they tend to frequent prostitutes on a regular basis. If a dude who lives next to the Bunny Ranch gets into an argument with his spouse chances are that he will seek solace at the cathouse instead of a bar.

The researchers also concluded that the farther away a person lived from a bar, the less likely he was to be a heavy drinker.

These Finnish researchers deserve a Nobel Prize, a MacArthur Foundation award, or at least a coupon for a free Big Whopper.

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