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Published:December 29th, 2012 12:37 EST

The Honey Boo Boo Redneck Family: An Inspiration And Example For America

By Robert Paul Reyes

Thanks to President Obama and the Republican`s ineptitude in dealing with the fiscal cliff crisis the low-income Honey Boo Boo clan may be representative of the typical American family next year.


We need to faithfully watch "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", and see what lessons we can glean from this frugal and thrifty family.

The matriarch of the family, June Shannon, is an avid couponer.

Mama carries a truckload of coupons with her when she goes shopping and she saves a boatload of money. Mama has a pantry/survivalist`s room in her home where she keeps enough toilet paper, and staples like hot sauce and ketchup to last through the Great Tribulation.

Extreme couponing isn`t just for reality show freaks; we need to jump on the bandwagon, and save a few bucks.

The patriarch, Sugar Bear, works seven days a week at a chalk mine; he doesn`t have time for any  hobbies. To pay for Obamacare you will have to work like a dog, leaving you with no time for expensive hobbies like joining a health club or playing video games.

America`s favorite reality family subsists on roadkill, sketti, and cheese balls. Sure they resemble baby hippos, but think of the tons of money they are saving. Roadkill served with a few garnishments, and lots of barbeque sauce, and plenty of whiskey can be delicious. Forget about fancy pies for dessert, just throw a few cheese balls on the floor and your children will get full and have a lot of fun.

The next time you run over a squirrel, scrape the sucker off your tire, and the critter with a little Hamburger Helper will feed the whole family.

The redneck family loves to go to the dump, where they find clothing, small appliances, and assorted treasures. Don`t complain that your family never does anything together; going to the city dump is an excellent bonding experience and a great way to save money.

Regardless what temporary solution our fearless leaders announce for dealing with the fiscal cliff, our taxes are destined to go up, and we would be well-advised to follow the sterling example of the Honey Boo Boo clan.

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