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Published:February 16th, 2013 12:13 EST

Pope Benedict's Successor? How About Honey Boo Boo Child? Amen!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"The conclave to choose Pope Benedict`s successor could start earlier than expected, giving the Roman Catholic Church a new leader by mid-March, the Vatican said on Saturday."



There is rampant speculation on who the next pope will be, some place odds on this octogenarian and others on that septuagenarian.

The Roman Catholic Church has many chronic and systemic problems, and it doesn`t need another old man at the helm.

The conclave needs to think outside the box, and elect somebody totally unexpected as the new pope, somebody with youth and vigor: Honey Boo Boo Child.

What better way to renounce centuries of homophobia than by making Honey Boo Boo the pope? The precocious child who famously declared "Ain`t nothing wrong with being gay, everybody is a little bit gay", would stamp out homophobia and intolerance in the Vatican.

The Vatican desperately needs some girl power in the house! Honey`s first official proclamation would be to declare that females are eligible for the priesthood.

The Roman Catholic Church pays lip service to ecumenism, but the evangelical Honey Boo Boo is truly ecumenical, she doesn`t care what denomination you belong to as long as you redneckognize that we are all God`s children.

Honey would make the dull Catholic services more entertaining, instead of the priests passing out bland wafers for communion, they would distribute cheese balls, and instead of offering grape drink, can you say "Go Go Juice"?

The ageing cardinals should heed Holy Scriptures: A little child shall lead them.

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