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Published:March 8th, 2013 10:13 EST

Lindsay Lohan Needs A Good Spanking, A Stint In Rehab, And A Year In Jail

By Robert Paul Reyes

Until recently, troubled thespian Lindsay Lohan was represented by Shawn Holley, considered one of Southern California`s top criminal defense lawyers. But LiLo dumped Holley, probably because she owed her over a hundred grand.


The pop tart is now represented by New York based attorney Mark Heller, who has been deemed incompetent to represent the starlet in her criminal cases by L.A. Superior Judge Jim Dabney.

As if to prove that Judge Dabney`s assessment of him was spot on, at a court hearing Heller told the judge that his train wreck client doesn`t need rehab. Lindsay doesn`t have a problem with alcohol and drugs ", he argued before the judge.

You don`t need to be Dr. Drew or Dr. Phil to discern that Lohan is an alcoholic and a drug addict. Lohan belongs in rehab, in a padded room, or better yet, behind bars.

The "Mean Girls" actress is 26 but looks 46, and acts like she`s 16. Drugs and booze have ravaged her looks, and robbed her of her common sense and good judgment.

Lindsay Lohan needs a good spanking, which I am humbly willing to administer, a stint in rehab, which Charlie Sheen will probably pay for, and a year in jail which the taxpayers won`t mind paying for.

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