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Published:March 16th, 2013 11:06 EST

Happy St. Patrick's Day To All My Readers!

By Robert Paul Reyes

A few souls may celebrate St. Patrick`s Day by going to a Catholic Church and lighting a votive candle in honor of St. Patrick, and a few theatrically-inclined folks may attend a performance of Riverdance, a show consisting of traditional Irish stepdancing, known for its rapid leg movements while body and arms are kept largely stationary.


But the vast majority of Americans will pay homage to Irish culture by downing dozens of green beers and dancing a jig while drunk out of our gourds.

Unlike the Riverdance where the arms are kept largely stationary we will keep out arms busy lifting pints of green beer.

There is no room for political-correctness in celebrating St. Patrick`s Day; today we celebrate only the amazing ability of the average Irish person to consume rivers of alcoholic beverages without dying of blood poisoning.

This year St. Patrick`s Day falls on a Sunday: Get drunk as a skunk, and darken the door of a church long enough to say a prayer asking God to forgive you for calling in sick on Monday.

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