Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:April 13th, 2013 09:20 EST

Obese Woman Uses Cans of Spaghetti Sauce, Not Bomb, To Rob Bank

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A woman who authorities say pretended canned spaghetti sauce was a bomb during a bank robbery is in police custody.


Detectives recognized parole absconder Ophelia Amelia Neal, 53, of Mt. Clemens when they watched surveillance camera footage from the bank, Clinton Township Police Capt. Richard Maierle said. Macomb County Sheriff`s deputies arrested Neal late Friday morning at a residence in Mt. Clemens.

According to police, Neal put a cloth bag on the counter of the Fifth Third Bank and demanded money from a teller. She said the bag contained a bomb."

Detroit Free Press

When the bomb squad arrived at the scene they found no explosives, only enough cans of spaghetti sauce to make enough spaghetti for everyone in the bank.

The teller must feel like a fool for forking over $3,500 to a woman who tips the scale at over 400 pounds and was armed only with cans of spaghetti sauce. I would have tossed her some peanuts, and told her to get lost.

This humongous criminal has a rap sheet longer than she is wide, in other words she`s just an average citizen of Detroit.

I wonder how the cops nabbed Neal; did they create a trap using a huge bowl of spaghetti as bait?

In prison Neal won`t be fed much spaghetti, this oxygen thief is gonna lose a lot of weight.

Read More:

Photo Credit:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: