Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:May 2nd, 2013 08:27 EST
Starbucks Attempted Poisoning of Raminch Behbehanian Recalls Tylenol Tamperer of 1982!

Starbucks Attempted Poisoning of Raminch Behbehanian Recalls Tylenol Tamperer of 1982!

By John G. Kays

On Monday (April 29, 2013) At 3:45 PM, a woman carrying a Starbucks bag casually enters a Starbucks in San Jose, Ca., appearing to be just another customer seeking coffee, yet her ulterior designs are malicious. 

50 year old Raminch Behbehanian swaps out two plastic bottles of Evolution Fresh orange juice from the ubiquitous refrigerated display case with two bottles teeming with fingernail polish remover and rubbing alcohol. An observant fellow customer spots her, suspicious with the Switch-A-Roo!

The elderly bird flies the coop; a responding employee takes down her license plate number (or was it from a surveillance camera tape?) and the cops nab her at her presentable townhouse a few hours later!  

Before we go forward with the news narrative  or worry about Raminch Behbehanian`s possible motive, let`s backup the tape to her swapping the good juices with the tainted ones.

Did she merely move the good ones over, replacing the space with poison, or did she take the good ones out of the display case, putting them in her Starbucks bag? It makes a difference; the half a dozen or so news stories I read lacked clarity on this point, Raminch`s approach to the not-so-subtle Switch-A-Roo. 

Then one wonders whether she thought to look about with better attempts to conceal her aberrant, treacherous misconduct? This doesn`t appear to be the case.

The first thing that comes to mind (for me) is the stark contrast of this Starbucks` incident to the Chicago Tylenol poisoning from 1982, where 7 people died from Extra-Strength Tylenol laced with potassium cyanide.

Indeed, this was the most heinous crime on record of this type of tampering with a consumer product, where there`s a clear intention to kill people. Moreover, the Tylenol Tamperer was never caught, even though several strong suspects were established.

Well, rubbing alcohol aint got nothing on cyanide; furthermore we`re hearing Raminch was a chemist by trade. This confuses us even more, as we try to imagine what her motive was and why she chose to douse the SB orange juices with a weird potion mixture of isopropyl alcohol and fingernail polish remover! 

Very, very strange modus operand us. We`re curious about her mental state; her educational background gives the appearance of rock solid. Something missing here, though?

The Tylenol Tamperer (as I`m calling him or her) is thought to have had a grudge against the pharmaceutical giant Johnson and Johnson. But what is Behbehanian`s grudge? Is it Starbuck`s, or perhaps does she hate Americans, such as the Boston Marathan bombers apparently did? 

I`m not jumping to conclusions as to why she did it, but it`s a bit eerie, in the wake of both the ricin letters and the Boston bombings as well. Was Raminch watching these disturbing events unfold, then she gets a brainstorm to do it herself?

Well, I admit that`s a leap, but something bad got into her. Again, why did she choose a Starbucks to poison innocent people? Was it chosen since it`s such an All American establishment? There`s a high school across the street from the Starbucks there in San Jose. I wonder whether Raminch knew this. 

Her mug shot radiates bitterness; she won`t tell the police why she did it. The Tylenol murders changed forever how over the counter drugs are packaged. Since then, I haven`t purchased Tylenol even once! It puts that kind of fear in you; could it hurt Starbucks business nation-wide. A dark balm lingers over our land right now.