June 22nd, 2013 11:58 EST
Cops Arrest Pantless Drunk Woman Driving On Wrong Side Of Road
"Natalie Delgado wasn`t wearing any pants when she got pulled over on suspicion of DUI on Interstate 595 early Wednesday, an arrest report says.
Delgado was traveling in the wrong direction and on the wrong side of the roadway when she was pulled over about 2:45 a.m on eastbound I-595 near State Road 7 in Davie."
Delgado, 20, needs to take certain steps immediately before she becomes a hopeless alcoholic.
QUIT HER JOB AS BARTENDER
Lindsay Lohan should never take a moonlighting job working at a jewelry store, and the last thing Delgado needs is to be working as a bartender. Why surround yourself with temptation, when you know that after a couple of drinks you will ditch your pants, and drive on the wrong side of the road?
TAKE AN ETIQUETTE CLASS
Maybe she will learn that a classy lady will never drive pantless, especially when she is drunk out of her mind, and there`s a good chance she will be pulled over by a police officer.
ENROLL IN COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL
I don`t expect a woman arrested for drunk driving to look like a supermodel, but in her mugshot Delgado looks like she`s been dead for a couple of days. The skills Delgado learns in cosmetology school may land her a job, and she can also apply those skills to make herself look presentable.
Delgado initially told the cop who pulled her over that she didn`t have anything to drink. A sloppy drunk is never a smooth liar; honesty is always the best policy especially for witless drunks.
ENROLL IN A 12-STEP PROGRAM
When you are drunk driving pantless on the wrong side of the road, it`s time for rehab.
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