August 29th, 2013 17:50 EST
Foam Finger Inventor: Miley Cyrus Has Degraded Honorable Sports Icon
"The foam finger, a staple at sports events around the country, is Iowan Steve Chmelar`s baby. He created it in 1971. So when Miley Cyrus began touching Robin Thicke`s manhood and pantomiming digital penetration with her foam finger at the VMAs on Sunday night, it hit Chmelar in a way that most of us can`t truly comprehend.
"She took an honorable icon that is seen in sporting venues everywhere and degraded it. Fortunately, the foam finger has been around long enough that it will survive this incident," Chmelar told Fox Sports. Clearly, the foam finger was the victim at Barclays Center on Sunday night, an unwilling participant in Miley`s much-talked about assault on culture."
The Atlantic Wire
By now every aspect of Miley Cyrus` decadent performance at the MTV VMA`s has been analyzed, discussed, and criticized ad nauseum.
Fashionistas have ridiculed Miley`s spandex short shorts, moralists have condemned her twerking and tongue-flicking, choreographers have mocked her clumsy dancing, and lovers of pop music blasted her god-awful caterwauling.
But until I read this Atlantic Wire article, it escaped my notice that the pop tart desecrated the iconic foam finger seen in sporting venues all over the world.
Steve Chmelar, the inventor of the foam finger, was traumatized by Miley`s demonic treatment of his invention. He will doubtless need therapy for the rest of his life.
From now on and forever more when I see fans lift a foam finger in the air, I won`t think "these fans think their team is Number One." Instead I will be reminded that Miley Cyrus is the #1 skank in the world.
Photo Credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes