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Published:September 12th, 2013 12:21 EST

Miley Cyrus' Twerking Destroyed Western Civilization, Hello Kitty Beer Will Destroy Asia: Video

By Robert Paul Reyes


"Hello Kitty beer is a thing, at least in Asia.


There are six Hello Kitty beers, which come in easy-drinking fruit flavors like peach, lemon-lime, passion fruit, and banana. They have about half the alcohol content of mainstream American beers -- a Budweiser runs 5 percent alcohol-by-volume, where the Hello Kitty brews range from 2.3 percent to 2.8 percent.

`The beers were introduced in Taiwan, and are now also available in China, where flavored beer is a new trend in the market,` David Marchi, senior director of brand management and marketing for Sanrio, the company that created Hello Kitty, told"

NBC News

Miley Cyrus has destroyed Western culture with her raunchy twerking, and now Hello Kitty is destroying Asia with its fruity beers.

The history of America can be divided into two distinct eras: Before Miley (B.M.) and After Miley (A.M.). After Miley`s horrific and nauseating twerking performance on MTV nobody can make the argument that America can turn things around. The die is cast! We are doomed!

No nation stays on top forever, and the United States is on an inexorable downwards spiral that will culminate with Justin Bieber elected President and Miley Cyrus appointed the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. You think things are bad because we elected a president born in Kenya, just wait until a president who was born in Canada is in control.

I thought nothing could be worse than Miley Cyrus twerking her skinny butt, but Hello Kitty beer may spell the end of humankind.

The company that markets the Hello Kitty franchise isn`t just diluting their brand; they are destroying it by selling Hello Kitty beer in Asia.

Peach flavored beer is bad enough, but to call it Hello Kitty beer is enough to make a man vomit uncontrollably for hours.

Why even market beer for women, it`s a niche and unlucrative market.

America was caught unawares by Miley`s devilish twerking, let`s not be caught with our pants down again. We must lobby our senators and congressmen not to allow Hello Kitty beer to enter the American market.



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