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Published:September 18th, 2013 13:18 EST

Toothless British Man Bites Neighbor's Manhood During Fight: Video

By Robert Paul Reyes


"A British man convicted of biting his neighbor`s penis during a fight about loud music told a court he is `not a gay man in any way.`


Jason Martin, 41, of Dover, England, was convicted of wounding with intent to cause serious injury after a Canterbury Crown Court jury heard how the nearly toothless defendant bit and gnawed on neighbor Richard Henderson`s penis after the victim sent him a text asking him to turn down his music."


When a neighbor has his music on too loud, the average man will scream: Turn down that freakin` music. But Richard Henderson politely sent a text asking his neighbor to turn down his music.

Henderson was rewarded for his consideration and politeness by having his manhood nearly bitten off.

I can`t quite grasp the logistics of biting a dude`s private parts during a fight. If a dude lowers his head in the direction of my nether regions I will kick him in the head, and I almost always wear steel-toe shoes, by the way.

Jason Martin protested in court, "I`m not a gay man in any way", but I think the lady doth protest too much. The victim knew Martin`s phone number; evidently they knew each other quite well. Perhaps it wasn`t unusual for Martin`s mouth to be in the vicinity of his neighbor`s junk, and that`s why he was able to get close enough to bite his Johnson.

Dude you shouldn`t be so concerned about people thinking you`re gay, you should be more concerned about people thinking you are a toothless maniac.

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