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Published:October 21st, 2013 19:05 EST

Moron Calls Cops To Report Stolen Jell-O From Employee Break Room

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Workplace thieves who cop food from the communal refrigerator can be a pain, but one Berks County man thought his missing Jell-O merited a call to police.


According to a report from Upper Macungie police, an employee at Wakefern called the cops on Oct. 10th to report  `that an unknown person stole his Jell-O snack from the break room refrigerator.`"


Thievery is rampant in the workplace, and the average employee has a "grin and bear it" attitude. I have never stolen anything in my life, but for some unexplainable reason there are over a dozen pens, bearing my company`s name, in my house. I must have picked them up by accident; I swear I`m not a thief like most of my co-workers.

I never place any food item in the break room refrigerator, I`ve learned the hard way, that even if I label my food with my name in huge block letters, it`s doesn`t deter my hungry co-workers.   

I`d be surprised if a cop was dispatched to investigate this theft, he would be a sour mood if he had to put down his donut and coffee to look into this ridiculous matter.

A person who calls the police to complain about the theft of a Jell-O snack from the employee break room fridge is an anal-retentive oxygen thief who should be brutalized by the cops for wasting their time, and fired by his employer for wasting the company`s time.    

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