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Published:October 30th, 2013 10:54 EST

Britney Spears' Hits Blasted To Fight Somali Pirates

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Britney Spears is being used as a secret weapon to fight Somali pirates.


The singer`s hits are being blasted out by tanker crews to deter kidnap attacks, merchant navy officer Rachel Owens told Metro UK.

Spears`s chart-toppers Oops! I Did It Again and Baby One More Time have proved to be the most effective at keeping the bandits at bay, she said."

Fox News

Fortunately, the sailors aboard the Western ships aren`t subjected to Spears` cacophony; the directional speakers are aimed squarely at the pirates` vessels.

Pirates aren`t American citizens; therefore they aren`t protected from being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment. Everything is fair in love and war, as the saying goes.

Somali pirates are Muslims, and they can`t stand Western culture, especially Spears` caterwauling. Spear`s music is effective in deterring pirates, but if tanker crews want to finish off the pirates once and for all they should hire Miley Cyrus to twerk on the deck of their ships. If that doesn`t make them commit suicide, nothing will.

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