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Published:November 20th, 2013 13:45 EST

Outrage: Adam Levine Named People's Sexiest Man Alive: Video

By Robert Paul Reyes

Adam Levine, foppish pop star, noted narcissist, and celebrity coach on NBC`s talent reality show "The Voice" has been officially named People`s Sexiest Man Alive.

I can only conclude that the good folks at People Magazine are blind, crazy or have a weird sense of humor.

Adam is attractive in a reptilian sense; I imagine the emaciated pop singer as a snake slithering down the red carpet, stopping occasionally to look at his reflection in a mirror.

I`m not afraid to describe a man as handsome or attractive. George Clooney and Brad Pitt are sexy, Adam Levine is repulsive. It takes more than good looks to qualify as sexy; Clooney and Pitt are handsome as hell, but they are also noted for their philanthropy, and as advocates for noble causes.

Levine has dated Victoria`s Secret model Anne Vyalitsyna, and he is engaged to Namibian Victoria`s Secret model Behati Prinsloo. Levine is attracted to women who share the same quality as him: Superficial good looks.

Levine is as consequential as cotton candy stuck to your shoe. I don`t expect People`s Sexiest Man Alive to be a Rhodes Scholar or a Nobel Prize recipient, but couldn`t they have chosen someone with more gravitas?



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