November 26th, 2013 09:27 EST
Mall Santa Claus, 62, Busted For Groping Hot Female Elf, 18!
"A 62-year-old mall Santa Claus was arrested Saturday after allegedly pinching the buttocks of an 18-year-old woman who worked with him as an elf photographer, police report.
Herbert Jones was arraigned this morning in a Massachusetts court on an indecent assault and battery charge. Free on $1000 bail, Jones is next due in court on Christmas Eve on the felony count. A District Court judge directed Jones, pictured in the adjacent mug shot, to stay out of the Hanover Mall, and barred him from dressing up as Santa Claus for the balance of the holiday season."
The Smoking Gun
When this Santa hollers "Ho, Ho, Ho " he`s not expressing Christmas cheer, he`s trying to get the attention of women of easy virtue.
That was a mighty expensive pinch, for $1000 Santa could have enjoyed the tender ministrations of Santa`s wife and a couple of her elves at a massage parlor.
The court is really rubbing it in Santa`s face, by requiring him to appear in court on Christmas Eve.
A female co-worker backed up the elf photographer`s story, so this isn`t exactly a case of "he said, she said."
I would love to settle this dispute "old school style", by bashing Santa upside his head with a yuletide log.