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Published:January 13th, 2014 13:53 EST

Let's Trade Canada Chris Christie for Rob Ford! Video!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Even though Toronto Mayor Rob Ford hasn`t had the smoothest go of if in recent months up in Canada, some concerned U.S. citizens apparently still feel he would be a good addition to the American population.


Unfortunately for Ford, who admitted to smoking crack cocaine while drunk after he was caught on video, and is running for re-election despite that, there don`t appear to be many people who feel the same way.

A petition seeking to make Ford a U.S. citizen currently has fewer than 25 signees."


If the petition seeking to make crack-smoking mayor of Toronto a citizen of the United States fails, I propose that we ship the fat bully Chris Christie to Toronto in exchange for Rob Ford.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie both way as much as a hippo, but Ford is a jovial and likeable fasto while Christie is a reviled and contemptible ton of lard.

Why is Ford better than Christie? Let`s count the ways!

Ford not only loves to smoke crack, but he has a penchant for smoking weed as well, while Christie is such a killjoy that he doesn`t even believe in the legalization of marijuana.

Ford can dance like nobody`s business while Christie is so clueless that when he dances at a club, parking cones have to be placed to clear a space for him so he would accidentally crush someone.

Ford`s excuse for his shenanigans is that he`s frequently in a drunken stupor; unless Christie is secretly a heroin addict he has no excuse for his bullying behavior.

Ford is a person you would love to down a beer (or two or four) with, Christie is someone you would love to smack over the head with a bottle of beer.

Ford has no higher ambition than to be re-elected mayor of Toronto, while Christie has his eyes on the Oval Office.

For God`s sake Canada, please accept Chris Christie. We will even pay the hundreds of dollars that it would cost to ship his fat butt.

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