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Published:February 5th, 2014 12:16 EST

Drunk Bald Freak, 6'8", 350 Pounds, With Prosthetic Leg Goes On Tire Slashing Spree

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A Massachusetts man has been arrested for allegedly slashing the tires of seven cars after being denied a drink at a bar during the Super Bowl because he was already drunk.


Prior to his arrest, police radio broadcasts described Todd Fike, 46, as standing 6-feet 8-inches tall, weighing 300 to 350 pounds, wearing shorts that revealed a prosthetic leg and driving a blue ice cream-style truck."


It`s a miracle that this freakishly tall and morbidly obese inebriated monster could maintain his balance on a prosthetic leg.

Fike was arrested and charged with seven felony counts of wanton destruction of property and disorderly conduct.

Evil has been restrained, but only for a season. The beast will probably post bail and once again wreak havoc on humankind.

Lord I pray little children won`t approach this brutal behemoth in the mistaken belief that he`s selling ice cream.

This is the bogeyman your mother warned you about, if you see this wretched creature for God`s sake run for your life.

Don`t think he`s vulnerable because he has a prosthetic leg; he`s liable to yank off his leg and use it to beat the hell out of you.

If you want to see the face of unbridled evil check out his mug shot:

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