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Published:February 6th, 2014 10:27 EST

Outrage: Driver, 92, Flees Accident, Claims Diarrhea Forced Her to Flee

By Robert Paul Reyes

"An elderly Arizona driver accused of hitting a jogger is claiming the dookie defense, insisting a case of diarrhea prevented her from staying at the scene.


Persis Draper, 92, faces charges of fleeing the scene, failure to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk and failure to control speed from the Saturday crash that left Dori Stolmaker bruised, battered and with stitches in her elbow.

`The diarrhea started up again after the accident happened. I was going to stop, but then the diarrhea came and I didn`t stop.`"

New York Daily News

It`s debatable if the accident scared the crap out of the old lady, or if she had a genuine case of diarrhea. But one thing is clear, this old bat is too freaking old to drive, and her license should be immediately revoked.

After the accident the non-caring nonagenarian stopped at a nearby grocery where she used the restroom and picked up dinner rolls for the potluck she planned to attend at her church. WWJD? He wouldn`t nibble on dinner rolls while a woman he hit is on the ground bruised, battered and bewildered.

At her advanced age Draper should never leave home without her adult diapers, had she been sensibly clad in diapers she wouldn`t have had an excuse to flee an accident.

The old woman claims she returned to the scene of the accident about an hour later, but that no one was around.

The unfeeling monster never called the police to report the accident; investigators found her only because a Good Samaritan who witnessed the crash noted the license plate on her vehicle and notified the police.

Draper was driving a Lincoln Town Car, evidently she has plenty of money, and she should volunteer to pay the victim`s medical bills.

Is this a legitimate case of hit-and-runs or is this old broad full of crap?

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