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Published:March 4th, 2014 14:38 EST

Is John Travolta Senile? What is Your Name Travoltified? Video!

By Robert Paul Reyes

John Travolta`s toupee may only be a year old, but the Alzheimer`s impaired thespian is 60-freaking-years-old.

The Scientology fanatic introduced Broadway star Indina Menzel as "Adele Dazeem" (actually your guess is as good as mine) at the academy Awards.


Menzel was so discombobulated by Travolta`s introduction that she performed a shaky rendition of "Let It Go" from the movie Frozen.

Slate has performed a public service by creating a widget that tells you what your name is after it has been Travoltified:

My Travoltified name is "Rosie Pay-ne"

My worst nightmare is that after I have been brainwashed and join the Scientology cult Travolta will welcome me with these words:

Welcome Rosie Pay-ne, you will find inner peace in Scient-- tooo-- fology. As a welcoming present I will let you wear my too --mingpay, err I mean wig, for a few seconds.

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