March 4th, 2014 14:38 EST
Is John Travolta Senile? What is Your Name Travoltified? Video!
John Travolta`s toupee may only be a year old, but the Alzheimer`s impaired thespian is 60-freaking-years-old.
The Scientology fanatic introduced Broadway star Indina Menzel as "Adele Dazeem" (actually your guess is as good as mine) at the academy Awards.
Menzel was so discombobulated by Travolta`s introduction that she performed a shaky rendition of "Let It Go" from the movie Frozen.
Slate has performed a public service by creating a widget that tells you what your name is after it has been Travoltified:
My Travoltified name is "Rosie Pay-ne"
My worst nightmare is that after I have been brainwashed and join the Scientology cult Travolta will welcome me with these words:
Welcome Rosie Pay-ne, you will find inner peace in Scient-- tooo-- fology. As a welcoming present I will let you wear my too --mingpay, err I mean wig, for a few seconds.