March 14th, 2014 16:21 EST
Maya Ezratti Shares Dating and Relationship Tips
- Intend to END THE DATE FIRST! It`s critical that as a woman, you end the date first. Don`t be abrupt or rude and suddenly get up and say, I`m leaving! I was told to end it first. " It`s more of the idea that you are busy, you have places to be, things to do and you have a life of your own! This is very appealing to a man when you have a nice full life and have good things going on around you. You do not want to sit for hours upon hours with someone you`ve just met and reveal too much too soon because, while you may be having the time of your life, bonding " with this person and sharing wonderful personal stories about how you lost your first tooth at age 6, you will leave no room for mystery, longing, excitement and desire. Men get bored very quickly. If you like the guy, or even if you don`t, just keep it short and sweet for the first date especially and #enditfirst! Politely say anything like, I`ve got to get back home, I have a big day at the office tomorrow. It was great meeting you and I had a nice time. " When someone likes you they will ask you out again and say, When can I see you again? " You want to leave on a good note with the guy feeling like he wants to get to know more of you and see more of you, not get bored of you and never call you again.
- Intend to SHOW UP LOOKING GREAT! People are visual. Men are extremely visual. But let`s be honest here, so are women. We are all first attracted to what the person looks like, then we decide if we like them and hopefully fall in love with their character, personality and being. So in order to meet more people and actually get noticed enough to be asked on dates, please do look great! You must look your best. Hair should be freshly trimmed and on the longer side for women. Men love long hair! It doesn`t need to be down to your waist, but men like to look at and play with your hair. It`s very sexual and stimulating. Grooming is essential for both men and women. I can`t remember the last time I got a call from a client saying he or she was into a really dirty, unkempt look! Don`t wear baggy clothes that drown you and women, please, don`t dress like men! Skirts, dresses and heels! Men, make sure you`re pants are hemmed and your shoes are looking nice, whether you`re in sneakers hitting an urban or sporty vibe or in dressier shoes. Sloppy is not attractive to either sex.
- Intend to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! When it comes to your personal life, please don`t start revealing every single private detail about yourself or others on dates 0-4. Many people forget what the boundaries are between personal and private information versus shared and socially acceptable information. For example, don`t show up on a date and say something like, Yeah, well, my therapist was telling me the other day that it`s time I meet new people. She said I should really put myself out there and get over my severe anxiety disorders and fear of rejection. What do you think? " The guy will think you`re nuts and will be running to the door to escape or asking for the check so fast you won`t even have time to order a drink! You`re just meeting new people, not walking down the aisle yet. You don`t need to give someone the entire rundown on your life in order for someone to get to know you. It`s the essence of a person that someone falls in love with. It`s about your way of being. Also, please don`t feel that you need to impress a man with your extreme intelligence. He`ll know you`re a bright girl. You don`t need to debate him to death or bore him with your superior level of intelligence while on a date. Be light and breezy and let him ask you questions to get to know you. Dates are not formal business interviews or therapy sessions!
- Intend to LISTEN! Pay attention to what your date says. If someone says they are not looking for marriage and that they want to play the field right now, then make a mental note in your mind. Don`t attack the person and say, Well then why did you ask me out? And why did you even bother to show up on this date if you`re not interested in real relationship???? Huh?!? What are you, some kind of sick player? " If someone says that can`t hold a job down and that they`re constantly being harassed by bosses all day long, make a mental note in your mind that this person may not be the worker bee you were hoping for. If a date is telling you story after story about his or her drama with their ex-spouse, pay attention and make a mental note that this person may not be able to handle being in a healthy relationship if they are bashing their ex the entire night. What you see and hear is what you get! You can`t change people or tell them what to do, so INTEND to LISTEN and ACCEPT or LISTEN and MOVE ON!
- Intend to LOVE THOSE THAT LOVE YOU! You cannot force a man or woman to fall in love with you. Someone may like you, sure, but you cannot make anyone fall in love with you. You must choose your mate from the pool of people approaching you and asking you out for dates and from those that are legally single and truly available. Cast as wide a net as possible by going to #singlesevents, doing #onlinedating, #singlestravel, #speeddating and more. You can`t force love to happen but you can put yourself out there. Someone either wants you or they don`t. Girls, if the guy is not calling you, not asking you out, not communicating with you, not making it known that he wants to date you, then he`s not into you! You`re either not his look or his type, he is in a relationship with someone else or he thinks you`re nice but doesn`t find you attractive. Date those men that DO pursue you. And for the guys, if she`s not saying yes to dates, if she`s not talking to you, if she`s not going out with you and if she`s always making an excuse as to why she can never ever see you, then she`s totally not into you! Both men and women have to reacquaint themselves with dating dialogues because too much gets lost in translation these days and becomes misconstrued via text, friends and social media. It`s plain and simple! You`re either getting asked out by a guy or not. If he`s not trying to date you, he doesn`t want you.
For More Information:
Maya Ezratti |
"Rules" Dating Coach & Relationships Expert