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Published:July 27th, 2014 10:42 EST

Redneck Lady Calls Cops to Complain Her Meth Was 'Laced'

By Robert Paul Reyes

"An Oklahoma woman wasn`t satisfied with the purity of her methamphetamine, so she decided to do something about it.


Unfortunately for Lynette Rae Sampson, the course of action she chose ended up leaving her with felony drug charges.

The 54-year-old allegedly called police because she thought her `ice` was laced with something. When an officer arrived to check it out, Sampson reportedly said: I`m glad you came."


It`s amazing how many of my weird news items feature rednecks, hillbillies and assorted riff-raff with three names. If you read one of my articles and it involves someone named Billy Bob Haymaker, you know things are going to get redneck and weird.

Meth is a pernicious drug that rots your teeth and fries your brain, but Lynette Rae Sampson was worried that her precious meth contained impurities. That`s like being worried that the dog crap you just stepped on might contain impurities.

Sampson was glad that the police officer showed up to check on the quality or lack thereof of her meth stash, that is until he slapped handcuffs on her and took her redneck a** to the hoosegow.

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