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Published:August 27th, 2014 15:08 EST
'Bullets and Burgers?' A Nine-Year-Old Accidentally Shoots Her Instructor With an Uzi! NRA Spin?

'Bullets and Burgers?' A Nine-Year-Old Accidentally Shoots Her Instructor With an Uzi! NRA Spin?

By John G. Kays

The tragic story of a nine-year-old girl accidentally shooting and killing her instructor (Charles Vacca, 39) with an Uzi, at a business that goes by the name of Bullets and Burgers (actually, Arizona Last Stop), is a difficult one not to spin, but I shall try, even if unsuccessfully. Alright, so I suppose Bullets and Burgers is more of a nickname (such as Burger King`s is Home of the Whopper)

Still, this is a shocking concept, where you get two terrific forms of American Entertainment (or should we call these Sports?) at the same time: really tasty burgers and, while you`re chomping down on some ground beef, you get to unload your favorite automatic weapon, before you head for Vegas to lose all your money. 

As you look at the menu (or whatever you want to call it), they have so many automatic machine guns to choose from; some of the choices include: a Barrett Sniper Rifle, a Browning BMG .50 Cal. and one called a Desert Eagle. I suppose I forgot to mention the most popular high-powered submachine, the Uzi, which has its origins in Israel; this is a major oversight, since it`s the one most germane to our story.

The nature of the accident, has to my satisfaction, been adequately explained by the press (BBC, NY Daily News, NBC, and the Daily Mail are just a few of my sources). The time of the unfortunate incident has brought me undue consternation, nonetheless; Charles Vacca died at around 10:00 AM on a Monday morning at this bizarre, if not exotic (verging on kinky), gun range in White Hills, which is in Arizona, close to the border of Nevada.

It`s hard to say why visiting a place like this, when a family is relaxing while on vacation, would have a great deal of appeal, especially when they have children; in this case, the tourists were from New Jersey. One has to wonder, was Bullets and Burgers the primary destination sought by the family? And are they ardent gun nuts, we have to ask? The manager, Sam Scarmardo, told NBC there`s never been any other accidents; well this spoils the B & B`s perfect record, but with a much bigger bang than, say, just a wounding would have!

A small streak of cruelty seems to have a hold over me; I remember saying (although,that was more than two hours ago), I`d try to avoid spinning this tragedy, but there`s lots of land mines when you take a closer gander at the nuts and bolts of what`s going on here. 

As I put the peculiar particulars beneath the scorching heat of a journalist`s microscope, edgy contradictions and un-rectified conundrums appear: the NRA, the right to bear arms (the Second Amendment), is a proverbial mud pie tossed in the face of gun control, in a world brimmed (over-saturated) with automatic weapons (Davy Crockett`s Old Betsy is not amongst them), and The Right, as a Fundamental Freedom guaranteed by the U.S.Constitution, to take the family to Wally`s World (oh, sorry, that`s Bullets and Burgers) and spend the day eating and shooting until their hearts are contented (what fun, what fun, not necessarily in that order)

Finally, this poor, unfortunate New Jersey family has to spend the rest of their life sorry and sad they ever went there, exercising their Doomsday-God-Given-Rights. What a horribly ironic hand of cards American Freedom will sometimes deal us; We`ll wait to see how the NRA can bust their way out of this brown grocery sack. I`m sure they`ll think of something (like the nine-year-old drank too much Dr. Pepper-the sugar rush made her do it).