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Published:September 12th, 2014 11:12 EST

Homeowner Discovers Inebriated Intruder Cooking Corn on the Cob on his Stove

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A Sunnyback Avenue resident discovered a drunken elderly intruder whipping up a latenight snack on his stove Wednesday after being awoken by a loud bang coming from his kitchen.


Police officers responded to the residence about 1:40 a.m., after the homeowner was engaged in a brief scuffle with the intruder, John Dalton, 69, who had forced his way into the residence through a side door, said Rockland police Lt. Nick Zeoli.

`(Dalton) decided to cook some corn on the cob on the individual`s stove top,` said Zeoli."

The Enterprise

Most old-timers are content to munch on popcorn safely ensconced in their own home, what would compel a 69-year-old man to break into a home and cook corn on the cob?

That would be demon alcohol; according to the cops Dalton was clearly intoxicated.

After discovering the inebriated old man in his home, the owner engaged in a brief struggle with him. If I find a decrepit old man making himself at home in my kitchen, the ensuing struggle will be very brief -- I figure I should be able to knock him out with one punch.

What would you do if you discovered an old coot cooking corn on the cob in your stove?

*Pepper spray the hell out of him!

*Tell him you want extra butter on your corn on the cob.

*Tell him you don`t mind him eating your corn on the cob, but to please take his dentures out of your fine crystal cup.

*Knock him out, and stick the corn on the cob where the sun doesn`t shine.

Dalton was charged with breaking and entering with intent to commit a felony, and a misdemeanor count of cooking corn on the cob without the consent of the owner.

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