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Published:October 22nd, 2014 16:02 EST

Halloween Horror: Drunk Trombone-playing Clown Shoots Pellets Into the Street!

By Robert Paul Reyes

As a blogger with a national audience, it`s my responsibility to keep my readers informed of the threats facing our great nation: The Ebola epidemic, Islamic terrorism, the Zombie Apocalypse, and of course Clowns Gone Wild.


As Halloween approaches we experience increasing sightings of malevolent clowns standing on street corners posing an implicit threat to passersby:

Then last week we received reports from France of clowns brandishing fake weapons and chasing children:

Now there`s a clown shooting a real gun, and playing a trombone while he wreaks havoc on an unsuspecting population:

Police in Michigan said a drunken man in clown mask was reported shooting a gun into the street and playing the trombone from his garage. "

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Granted the firearm was a pellet gun, but a bb can take out the eye of a child trick-or-treating.

For God`s sake parents, equip your children with pepper spray when you send them trick-or-treating in your neighborhood. Instruct them to pepper spray any clown who ventures too close to them, these emissaries of Satan have only tricks up their sleeves.

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