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Published:November 28th, 2014 13:06 EST
An Abandoned 100 K Burger King Backpack Must Have a Whopper of a Backstory!

An Abandoned 100 K Burger King Backpack Must Have a Whopper of a Backstory!

By John G. Kays

I felt appreciation for the many stories I read on what I call the Abandoned 100K Cash Burger King Backpack Mystery, which went down Wednesday (November 26th) in San Jose (the Burger King with the jettisoned treasure is on North Bascom Avenue).

 I wouldn`t say I will go so far as to schedule a field trip to San Jose, so that I can take a gander at the booth where an Assistant Manager, Sahista Bakawia found the small fortune, but, nevertheless, I am most appreciative of this unfathomable, brimming, Pot-Of-Gold-like motherlode of a saga we`ave been dealt here!

If you can get pass this cluster of gobbledegook, you might be able to intuit my drift of a meaning. This is only the surface of the story; the real news is what`s behind the misplaced bag of loot. Who left the bursting bag of greenbacks at the BK? Did they do it on purpose?

Why did they choose a King? Why not a Taco Bell, or perhaps a Kentucky Fried Chicken (I don`t know if San Jose has the Colonel?)? Was this individual on the lam? Was somebody following this anonymous BK customer? And, of course, is the money from drug sales (we also hear a small amount of Pot was in the bag)?

The first flash I had when seeing this seemingly fictitious tale (although it`s really news), was from one of my favorite movies, A Simple Plan, directed by Sam Raimi, and starring Bill Paxton, Billy Bob Thornton, and Bridget Fonda (1998); the reason for the connection in my mind is probably due to the fact that this motley bunch find a duffle bag filled with millions in cash. I love this movie a great deal, since I seemed to have been plagued with this exact same fantasy all my life! 

I`ve never found many loose bills anywhere (although, I`ve found lots coinage, such as nickels, dimes and quarters), but I`ve often fantasized of doing so, especially when I`m strapped for cash and can`t pay all my bills; well, you know how the story goes, I`m a struggling artist and have had lots of very low paying jobs in my life. Been hard to get by, and when this agony pops in my head, I`ll get that little vision of finding a huge treasure chest of booty

The film does a good job of teaching you a moral, finding lots of money will come with a price. There`s usually a nest of EVIL lurking behind this Easy Money, then the jilted karma rubs off on you, turning you into a Bad Zombie

An alternative version to the Burger King Bucks Basket is, the Pot going around now is so strong, that maybe the smuck got so stoned, he simply forgot the bag, becoming so Goofy Headed on Grass (maybe he/she dusted his Whooper with Weed, incapacitating the petty drug mule)? 

Anyhow, you can go so many directions with this, but it`s too bad none of the journalists took us down one of these Yellow Brick Roads *(mine`s a dead-end also)! The Backstory will be our next hit movie, yet nobody sees it!