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Published:January 3rd, 2015 10:44 EST

Kim Jong Un Hacked His Eyebrows! Pudgy Dictator is a Freak! Video!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Dictator Kim Jong Un raised more than a few eyebrows during a recent New Year`s address on North Korean state television.

The despot`s speech was televised in both North and South Korea, but all anyone noticed was that half his eyebrows are missing.

No comment has been made by North Korean officials, but Kim appears to have only the inner half of each eyebrow."

Ryan Gorman/AOL

The missing Malaysia Flight 370 has spawned many conspiracy theories; the disappearance has been attributed to everything from UFOs to terrorists to mechanical failure.

But Little Kim`s missing eyebrows have elicited even more concern, confusion and chaos. Since we know next to nothing about the Hermit Kingdom, we tailor our foreign policy vis-à-vis North Korea based on the Dear Leader`s personal appearance.

Kim Jong Un may look like he doesn`t know a USB port from his tiny genitals, but evidently he knows how to hack, he did a splendid job hacking his own eyebrows.

In the video below the CNN panel is mystified by Un`s new look, and they are contemplating what it means. No doubt the CIA is also closely examining the dictator`s eyebrows, and wondering what it portends.

I`m not a rocket scientist, and investigative journalist or a spy, but my guess is that the only thing the despot`s eyebrows signify is that he is one freaky bastard.

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