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Published:February 3rd, 2015 13:22 EST

Punxsutawney Phil is a Pimp!

By Robert Paul Reyes

Punxsutawney Phil, the world`s most adorable seasonal prognosticator, saw his shadow on Monday morning, portending six more weeks of winter.


Punxsutawney Phil has become a worldwide celebrity simply by being cuter than a button, and making one seasonal forecast every February.

Unfortunately, on Groundhog Day every every piddly town and village trots out their own version of Punxsutawney Phil to predict whether or not there will be six more weeks of winter.

Jimmy, the official groundhog in Sun Prairie, bit the mayor`s ear during a Groundhog Day celebration on Monday. This is God`s way of indicating that there`s only one Punxsutawney Phil, and all the other wannabes should stay in their burrows or wherever they spend the winters.

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