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Published:February 21st, 2015 10:29 EST

Man Beat Infant for Crying While He Watched 'The Jerry Springer Show'

By Robert Paul Reyes

"An Illinois man is jailed on domestic battery and child endangerment charges after he allegedly injured a seven-week-old girl when the baby would not top crying while he watched an episode of  `The Jerry Springer Show,` police charge.


Julian Anderson, 25, was arrested yesterday on several felony and misdemeanor charges related to an incident earlier this week at a residence in Aurora."

The Smoking Gun

The demographics of the Jerry Springer Show isn`t comprised of scientists, theologians, philosophers and other intellectuals, so it`s no surprise that a man watching the Springer show attempted to silence a crying infant by squeezing her and placing his hand over her mouth.

In fact the Springer show is widely popular in trailer parks, drunken frat houses and low-rent districts. However there are a few highbrow individuals, such as yours truly, who have an ironic appreciation of the long running program, and watch it occasionally.

Authorities became aware of the baby`s injuries when Anderson took her to a hospital for treatment of a fever. Hospital employees called the police after noticing injuries consistent with abuse. Thank goodness hospital workers are instructed to alert the authorities when they suspect child abuse.

Anderson should be sentenced to a long prison term, prisoners will exact a cruel punishment, and they don`t take too kindly to anyone who sexually abuses or physically harms a child.

Upon his release Anderson should be booked as a guest on the "Jerry Springer Show"; Jerry`s audience will unequivocally render a verdict. They will shower him with cries of freak, coward, child abuser and monster.

Mugshot of this despicable vermin:

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