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Published:March 17th, 2015 11:27 EST

Dick Vitale Kisses Ashley Judd on the Lips! The Horror! The Horror!

By Robert Paul Reyes

Veteran ESPN analyst Dick Vitale, 75, looks like a decrepit old man dying of cancer who just escaped from a hospice. If Vitale knocked on my door, for whatever ungodly reason, I would impale him on a stake, and plant him in my garden to scare away the birds.


Ashley Judd, 46, is a gorgeous actress, if I ever met her I would ask for her autograph, and I would consider myself blessed if she favored me with a smile.

In a perfect world Vitale and Judd would never come within 50 yards of each other, but friends and neighbors the world is far from perfect, and in a scene that horrified millions of viewers Vitale kissed Judd on the lips.

I know that in the spring a young man`s fancy turns to thoughts of romance, but Vitale isn`t a young man, he`s got one foot on a banana peel and the Grim Reaper has a hold of the other one.

Neither spring nor March Madness is an excuse for Vitale to kiss Judd. Don`t watch this video if you are a fan of Ashley Judd, you will feel her pain.  

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