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Published:June 20th, 2015 11:29 EST

Reported 'Lifeless Body' Was Papa Smurf Balloon

By Robert Paul Reyes

"German police said a helicopter crew searching for a reported lifeless body rescued a figure clad in red pants and blue outerwear -- a Papa Smurf balloon.


The District Police Rhein-Kreis Neuss said a train passenger reported spotting the lifeless body out a window near Dusseldorf and officers responded to the area in a helicopter. "


In America train tracks usually run through impoverished areas where a lifeless body is just part of the urban landscape. If I was traveling by Amtrak and I saw a lifeless body out the window, I would conclude that it was a wino taking a nap, or a dead crackhead, certainly nothing to get unduly exercised over.

This Good Samaritan/doofus should have minded his own business, instead of tying up emergency personnel searching for a lifeless body that turned out to be deflated Papa Smurf balloon.

Moral of this story: Enjoy the ride and mind your own damn business!

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