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Published:August 8th, 2015 11:25 EST

Whole Foods Sells $6 Asparagus Water! Are You Kidding Me? May God Smite Whole Foods!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Whole Foods representatives have responded to harsh criticism of their "Asparagus Water` by claiming that the product was made incorrectly.


The product in question was a bottle of water with three stalks of raw asparagus floating inside. A 16-ounce bottle of this aptly named "Asparagus Water` cost $5.99.

Moments after the image of a shelf of this asparagus water hit the internet, a storm of criticism emerged."

Canyon News

This is the same upscale grocery chain that has long been accused of routine mislabeling and overcharging customers.

Only the hipsters, yuppies, and assorted riff raff who patronize Whole Foods would buy a 16-ounce bottle of water with three stalks of raw asparagus floating inside for $5.99.

I doubt even one bottle of asparagus water would sell in a regular grocery store, regular folks have too much common sense and too little disposable income for such tomfoolery.

Whole Foods is an abomination and an affront to our democracy, when the Zombie Apocalypse finally comes or the next riot, I hope that the zombies/rioters will focus their fury on Whole Foods.

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