August 27th, 2015 18:22 EST
Cops Arrest Mama's Boy for Attacking His Mother With Plate of Potato Salad
"There has been a potato salad attack reported in Florida.
Days after a Sunshine State resident was nabbed for attacking his girlfriend with a plate of sauerkraut, a Bradenton man is facing a domestic battery charge for allegedly pelting his mother with potato salad during a confrontation in their home."
The Smoking Gun
When I lived in California a decade and a half ago it was the craziest state in the union, but the Sunshine State has overtaken the Golden State in all things weirdness.
Jonathan Smith, 34, pelted his mother with a bowl of potato salad as she sat down to eat her humble dinner (potato salad and chicken) in front of the TV.
When Smith`s mother threatened to call 911, the mama`s boy fled in a bicycle. He was nabbed by the cops only blocks away from the residence.
Smith was charged with a misdemeanor battery count, and parole violation, so he will spend at least a few weeks behind bars. I hope that every day a fellow jailbird will smash a bologna sandwich on his face, and every night an inmate will hide the sausage in his rear end.
By the time he`s released he may walk bowlegged or a few days, but maybe he will have learned to respect his mother.
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