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Published:August 27th, 2015 17:22 EST
salad

Cops Arrest Mama's Boy for Attacking His Mother With Plate of Potato Salad

By Robert Paul Reyes

"There has been a potato salad attack reported in Florida.

Days after a Sunshine State resident was nabbed for attacking his girlfriend with a plate of sauerkraut, a Bradenton man is facing a domestic battery charge for allegedly pelting his mother with potato salad during a confrontation in their home."

salad

The Smoking Gun

When I lived in California a decade and a half ago it was the craziest state in the union, but the Sunshine State has overtaken the Golden State in all things weirdness.

Jonathan Smith, 34, pelted his mother with a bowl of potato salad as she sat down to eat her humble dinner (potato salad and chicken) in front of the TV.

When Smith`s mother threatened to call 911, the mama`s boy fled in a bicycle. He was nabbed by the cops only blocks away from the residence.

Smith was charged with a misdemeanor battery count, and parole violation, so he will spend at least a few weeks behind bars. I hope that every day a fellow jailbird will smash a bologna sandwich on his face, and every night an inmate will hide the sausage in his rear end.

By the time he`s released he may walk bowlegged or a few days, but maybe he will have learned to respect his mother.

Read More:

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-abuse/potato-salad-battery-562934

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes