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Published:August 29th, 2015 10:34 EST

National Bow Tie Day: A High Holy Holiday for Dorks and Satanists

By Robert Paul Reyes

Yesterday was National Bow Tie Day, why we commemorate such a useless and ugly fashion accessory is beyond me.


Only dorks, losers and anti-social misfits wear bow ties, and anyone who wears one should be strangled with the dreaded fashion accessory.

The dastardly villain The Penguin, Bill Nye the Science Guy, the infamous occultist Aleister Crowley, and the belligerent Krusty the Clown all wear bow ties  -- any questions?

Humans looks like dorks or emissaries of Satan when they wear bow ties, but pooches look adorable in bow ties:

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia