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Published:October 31st, 2015 14:16 EST
pumpkins

Pumpkin-Spice Products Are Ruining Halloween!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"The US is awash with pumpkin spice everything during Halloween. But when did this craze start and is it is here to stay?

pumpkins

It`s hard to escape America`s love affair with Halloween, with pumpkins proudly paraded in windows, homes covered in spider webs, and ghoulish fancy dress outfits and grisly confectionery on sale in shops.

But the last few years has also seen an explosion of pumpkin-spice products.

There are pumpkin donuts, bagels, muffins and hamburgers and chips. Pumpkin-spice beers and liqueurs are beverage options. Pumpkin-spice yogurts, salty snacks, almonds and cheese are on offer."

BBC

I love Halloween, I dress up my pets almost every year, and I hand out treats to the kids, but pumpkins scare the living hell out of me. It`s not only Jack Lanterns that terrify me; simple unadorned pumpkins also scare me.

Pumpkins may make me wet my drawers, but pumpkin spice products make me vomit. I can tolerate pumpkin flavored coffee, but do we really need pumpkin-scented toilet paper? Dear God Almighty, it`s one thing to set a pumpkin on your porch for Halloween, but it`s a horse of a different color to sip pumpkin-flavored lemonade.

Enough of this pumpkin-spice products madness! Dear Lord I just had a horrible vision: An army of zombies brandishing pumpkins and bashing people`s heads open with the gourds so that their brains will taste like pumpkins.

I will have nightmares about pumpkins this Halloween!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia