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Published:December 16th, 2015 13:38 EST

Two Heroes Attack Inflatable Santa Claus! God Bless Them!

By Robert Paul Reyes



On Wednesday, December 9th. at 8:38 p.m., an Anderson Parkway resident reported an act of criminal mischief to a Christmas decoration on his front lawn.  The victim reported a neighbor observed a dark Jeep Cherokee stop in front of his home, at which time two male occupants exited and began to punch his inflatable Santa decoration. 

Police conducted an area search for the suspects with negative results.  The value of the damaged decoration was approximately $100.00.

Cedar Grove Police Department


I have a visceral hatred of inflatable holiday decorations; they are an aesthetic abomination and an affront to humanity.

The two men who went medieval on the inflatable Santa Claus aren`t Grinches who stole Christmas; they are men on a mission from God to save us from unoriginality and banality.

I wish the two gentlemen who destroyed the inflatable Christmas decoration good speed and a Merry Christmas. God bless them.

http://www.cedargrovepd.org/page/view/1475

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes
Photo Credit: Wikipedia