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Published:December 18th, 2015 09:20 EST

Christmas Abomination: Living Elf on the Shelf

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Tis the season for Elf On a Shelf.  We have fun posting pictures to Twitter and Facebook of a little toy elf making funny appearances around our homes, schools and offices.


If you`re planning an event this season and want to stand out a bit with your elf, you may want to check in with a man from Boston.

A recent Craigslist ad is offering Living Elf On The Shelf,  services. You read that correctly.

A grown man is offering his services to come to your home, dress in an elf outfit and sit completely still at your event."

CBS News

The Elf on a Shelf phenomenon started out as a children`s book published in 2005, the story describes how Santa`s elves hide in people`s homes to observe who`s been naughty and who`s been good. Once everyone goes to bed, the little snitches fly back to the North Pole and give Santa the lowdown.

Parents buy these devious elves to intimidate children into being good; I wouldn`t blame a kid if he beheaded the elf and flushed his head down the toilet.

Not only are these diabolical elves in children`s bedrooms, but they are everywhere. It`s become a fad, that`s lasted much too long, to take a selfie with your elf in tourist attractions, and compromising and or unique situations.  

An elf on a shelf toy is disturbing, but a living elf on a shelf is an abomination. If I witnessed a man dressed as an elf on a shelf, I would tar and feather him, beat him to a bloody pulp, and leave him on the road as a Christmas present to the neighborhood vultures.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia