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Published:February 14th, 2016 08:58 EST
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It's So Cold New York City Canceled Central Park Ice Festival Due to Cold Weather

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Love birds planning to spend their Valentine`s Day outdoors will have to bundle up, as it will likely be the coldest one on record for much of the Northeast.
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Temperatures will dip so low, it will be too cold in New York City for the annual Central Park Ice Festival.
The Central Park Conservancy says Saturday`s event has been canceled due to the weekend`s major arctic outbreak, which could bring sub-zero temperatures as 20 states in the Midwest and the Northeast brace for possibly `life-threatening` wind chills, according to The Weather Channel."

Daily Mail

How cold is it?

It`s so cold that I`m afraid to venture outside in fear my manhood might freeze into a popsicle and break off.

It`s so cold that your breath instantly freezes outside.

It`s so cold that if you are exposed more than two seconds to the artic chill you will get frostbite.

It`s so cold that the annual Central Park Ice Festival was canceled due to the cold weather.

Only the last statement is true, suffice to say it`s colder than hell.

Today is Valentine`s Day and I urge all the lovebirds to stay inside where it`s nice and toasty and celebrate this special day turning up the heat by making love.