February 14th, 2016 09:58 EST
It's So Cold New York City Canceled Central Park Ice Festival Due to Cold Weather
"Love birds planning to spend their Valentine`s Day outdoors will have to bundle up, as it will likely be the coldest one on record for much of the Northeast.
Temperatures will dip so low, it will be too cold in New York City for the annual Central Park Ice Festival.
The Central Park Conservancy says Saturday`s event has been canceled due to the weekend`s major arctic outbreak, which could bring sub-zero temperatures as 20 states in the Midwest and the Northeast brace for possibly `life-threatening` wind chills, according to The Weather Channel."
How cold is it?
It`s so cold that I`m afraid to venture outside in fear my manhood might freeze into a popsicle and break off.
It`s so cold that your breath instantly freezes outside.
It`s so cold that if you are exposed more than two seconds to the artic chill you will get frostbite.
It`s so cold that the annual Central Park Ice Festival was canceled due to the cold weather.
Only the last statement is true, suffice to say it`s colder than hell.
Today is Valentine`s Day and I urge all the lovebirds to stay inside where it`s nice and toasty and celebrate this special day turning up the heat by making love.