Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:May 5th, 2016 12:31 EST
cruz

Is Ted Cruz an Alien Reptilian Shapeshifter in Human Form?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"An animated GIF titled `Ted Cruz repeatedly elbowing his wife in the face` has racked up more than 1 million views on gfycat.com in less than 24 hours. The unfortunate incident is running up the numbers in various forms elsewhere too, from Instagram to YouTube to Vine."

Advertising Age


This GIF captures the reptilian, repugnant and revolting nature of Ted Cruz. The presumed Zodiac Killer would gladly and gleefully elbow his wife in the face, prostitute his young daughters, and sacrifice his father to Satan to secure the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

The GOP electorate has soundly rejected Cruz in favor of a charismatic racist, but like a monster in a horror flick, he`s almost impossible to kill, and he will rear his ugly head again in the next presidential election.

Donald Trump was fortunate that the only viable challenger left standing was the most hated man in America. Cruz is despised by those who know him best: His colleagues in the Senate, and his young daughters have been videotaped cringing and fleeing in terror when he attempted to hug them.

Some people believe there`s an Illuminati conspiracy to take over the world,  these theorists claim that shape-shifting reptilian aliens take on human form to gain political power to manipulate our societies.

I`m not a conspiracy theorist, I`ve made a career out of poking fun at UFO nuts, and lunatics who see the Illuminati`s handiwork in everything from Miley Cyrus` twerking to Richard Simmons` short shorts.

But I must confess that a solid case can be made that Ted Cruz is an alien reptilian in human form. I don`t condone political assassinations, but would it be wrong to burn Cruz to a crisp in order to save humankind?

http://adage.com/article/campaign-trail/ted-cruz-death-gif/303863/

cruz
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes
Photo Credit: Wikipedia