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Published:May 11th, 2016 13:41 EST
trump

The Ultimate Donald Trump Running Mate: Oompa Loompa

By Robert Paul Reyes

The most reviled politicians of our generation will face off in the general election, and I predict that Donald Trump will prevail over Hillary Clinton.

Anyone with a modicum of common sense, and a shred of integrity finds Trump  loathsome, vulgar and moronic, and anyone with a shred of decency and memory extending back to the 90`s considers Hillary a corrupt, ineffectual, pandering and enabling witch.

Even though Trump is racist and misogynist, there`s no denying that at times he`s entertaining and hilarious, whereas Hillary doesn`t have a funny bone in her body. The electorate will choose the the bellowing blowhard over the screeching, screaming and cackling witch.

Hillary, the consummate politician, will choose a running mate who balances the ticket, politically, ethnically or geographically. Expect her to select one of the following usual suspects as her VP: Brothers Julian or Joaquin Castro, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Sen. Sherrod Brown or Sen. Tim Kaine.

Donald Trump, the most unconventional politician of our time, may surprise us by choosing a seasoned and respected politician to add sorely needed gravitas to the ticket. But even if he selected Tinky-Winky or an Oompa Loompa he will beat Hillary in the general election.

Here are the individuals I think Trump should consider for his running mate:

SARAH PALIN

Trump needs someone who shares his values and is on the same wavelength. Palin is certifiably bonkers and thus a perfect match for the crazy billionaire. The former beauty queen and reality show star shares the same values as Trump: Love of self and a hunger for celebrity and fame.

SATAN

Trump is evil to the core, and you`d think Lucifer would be the go-to guy, but Satan (Ted Cruz) is universally despised, and he wouldn`t want to play second fiddle to a know-nothing jokester.

OOMPA LOOMPA

The aforementioned Oompa Loompa would be a perfect match, these two freaks are eerily similar from the orange-complexioned face to the baby hands from hell. They could run under the "Orange Lives Matter" motto and the Oompa Loompa song would make a terrific campaign theme song.

OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I`VE GOT A PERFECT TICKET FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU`LL LISTEN TO ME
VOTE FOR TRUMP AND THE OOMPA LOOMPA
WORLD`S GONE MAD MIGHT AS WELL LAUGH HA HA HA

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Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes
Photo Credit: Wikipedia