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Published:May 29th, 2016 09:30 EST

Stoner Mistakes Dog Bite for Bullet Wound

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A Texas man called police on Thursday believing he was shot in the left buttock while sitting on the porch.

When an officer from the Groesbeck Police Department, just east of Waco, responded they found the victim had been smoking marijuana and his dog actually bit him. He wasn`t actually shot.

`During the course of the investigation, it was determined that the `victim` had been smoking marijuana on the porch as the thunderstorm passed through the area,` Groesbeck Police Chief Chris Henson said in a Facebook post. `The loud thunder scared one of the dogs causing it to nip the `victim` in the left buttock. He believed he`d been shot and subsequently called the police."`


The stoner, who wasn`t identified by the cops, must live in a bad neighborhood. In my peaceful neck of the woods I might mistake thunder for a car backfiring or my neighbor farting his fool head off, but not for gunfire.

If you mistake a dog bite for a bullet wound it`s high time you gave up the weed. The stoner wasn`t arrested for stupidity or for possession of marijuana, the paramedics tending to his injury, and patted the pooch on the head for a job well done.

The paramedics didn`t feel a need to give the idiot any pain medication, they assumed that he had plenty of medicinal marijuana.

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