"Multiple reports that menacing clowns are lurking in the woods " sometimes, allegedly, offering kids cash to follow them " have the residents of Greenville, S.C., looking over their shoulders and even brandishing guns.
The Greenville County Sheriff`s Office said it has boosted patrols around the Fleetwood Manor apartment complex after it learned that men opened fire into woods behind the complex last week. Residents told a deputy that the men were spooked by what an incident report described as `recent clown activity.`"
Residents of any town are concerned about drug activity or prostitution, but they are absolutely alarmed at reports of clown activity. A city can survive an influx of drugs or prostitutes, but clown activity can demoralize and destroy a municipality.
"The clowning around needs to stop," said Greenville police chief Ken Miller at a press conference. "It`s illegal, it`s dangerous, it`s inappropriate, it`s creating community concern."
The clown activity is more than just inappropriate, it`s an existential threat to the community. The residents of Greenville are taking the clown menace a lot more seriously than their police chief, men fired into woods where clowns were said to be congregating.
Clowns are inherently evil, it doesn`t matter if the clowns that are terrorizing Greenville are members of a Satanic clown cult or bored teenagers, anybody who dons a clown outfit is demonstrating his allegiance to the Dark Prince, and deserves to be shot on sight.
There must be zero tolerance for clowns!