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Published:September 28th, 2016 16:32 EST

Donald Trump Suggests DNC Was Hacked by 400-Pound Hacker!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"During Monday evening`s first presidential debate, Hillary Clinton suggested that Russia might be responsible for the recent cyberhacks of Democrat email accounts. Donald Trump countered with an outrageous claim: It also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, OK?"


I don`t know what kind of alchemy or medication was responsible for Hillary`s calm and measured debate performance, free of histrionics (save for the infamous shoulder shimmy), coughing fits or feinting spells, but Hillary owes a world of gratitude to her physicians. Hillary clearly won the debate.

Donald Trump, on the other hand, was a sniffling, water-drinking, interrupting, incoherent bully. Trump has a penchant for uttering remarks that seem to come out of left field or his arse, but his 400-pound hacker comment was bewildering. 

Trump (who is a fat slob himself) is fixated on weight, especially women`s weight, but why on Earth would he pin the blame for the hacking of Democrat email accounts on a 400-pound hacker.

Thanks to Trump I`m going to have nightmares about a naked 400-pound hacker and a naked Rosie O`Donnell (maybe the same person?) beating me to submission until I vow to vote for Trump.

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