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Published:June 17th, 2017 11:26 EST
ufo

Millennial Wankers Get Lost in the Woods Searching for UFO's

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Three young hikers who were looking for UFOs got stranded in Blue Hills Reservation and had to be rescued by police Thursday night. But they said their harrowing night on high ground outside Boston paid off.

ufo
One of the hikers, Ramona DiFrancesco, 18, said the group saw several UFOs during their journey, including `three bright lights in the formation of a triangle` and a giant orb that looked `bigger than the moon.`

Boston Globe

These millennial scum had smart phones, but no flashlights. To go hiking in the woods, in the evening, without flashlights is nuttier than believing in UFO`s.

These morons claim to have seen several UFO`s during their adventure, including a giant orb that looked "bigger than the moon." Idiots, if you smoke enough weed the moon will look bigger than the moon.

What fate should befall these three millennial wankers who got lost in the woods searching for flying saucers:

Discover that bears not only shi* in the woods, but they also dine on wankers trespassing on their territory.

They see a UFO in the sky, and they have a close encounter of the third kind. After being anally-probed by aliens for hours they stumble out of the woods walking bowlegged like a mother.

They are rescued by first responders, and the cops proceed to beat the holy hell out of them for wasting their time and resources.

For God`s sake, enough of this UFO tomfoolery!

Read More:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2017/06/09/ufo-hunters-get-lost-blue-hills/6ZH8fRmUcRXxnz6LHFyhEI/story.html

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Link to homepage of Robert Paul Reyes: http://robertpaulreyes.com/