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Published:September 6th, 2017 17:35 EST

Vladimir Putin: Donald Trump is Not My Bride

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Russian President Vladimir Putin dismissed a question about U.S. President Donald Trump at a news conference Tuesday, refusing to comment on U.S. political affairs and distancing himself from the American leader.


Trump is "not my bride, and, likewise, I am neither his bride nor bridegroom. We are statesmen," Putin told reporters, according to a translation by Reuters."

Huffington Post

Donald Trump`s bromance with Vladimir Putin has lasted twice as long as the average Kardashian relationship, and if those two lovebirds ever consummate their romance, and if a video of their unholy tryst emerges it would break, nay shatter the Internet.

But it appears that Putin is having second thoughts about their love affair, the Russian president insisted that Trump is not his bride.

Putin was engaging in diplomatic speak, this is what he was really saying: Oh hell to the no, Trump ain`t my main squeeze, he`s just a side bitch. He`ll be lucky if I give him an industrial size jar of Vaseline as a parting gift.

Trump`s ardor however hasn`t waned, he`s still madly in love with the man who won him the election.

If Putin wants to get rid of his fatal attraction, he should gift Trump a couple of Russian prostitutes whose specialty is Golden Showers.

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