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Published:October 30th, 2017 11:40 EST

Sniffing Farts Can Stave Off Disease

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Hydrogen sulfide, the gas that gives farts their rotten smell, can help stave off disease.

And it`s all to do with a specific gas that is released when you pop off.

Hydrogen sulphide, the gas that gives flatulence its repulsive smell, can help reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke, cancer, and help stave off dementia, research suggests."

The Sun

Does your co-worker in the cubicle next to you suffer from a chronic case of flatulence? You`ve complained to your supervisor, Human Resources and your union to no avail, and now you are so desperate that you`re considering poisoning his coffee. Instead of killing the flatulent fool, you should cook him beans for lunch.

After all it turns out that smelling farts reduces the risk of heart attack, stroke, cancer, and stave off dementia. Farters do more to improve our health than doctors, and instead of cursing them out we should show them some appreciation.

If your husband passes gas after sex, instead of threatening to divorce him, breathe in the fumes, and thank him for capping off the great sex with his manly fart.

It was researchers at the University of Exeter who discovered the medical benefits of sniffing farts, thank God that scientists aren`t just farting around but conducting critical research.

But seriously if a wanker farts around me I`m not going to sniff his farts in appreciation of the medical benefits, I`m going to beat him to within an inch of his life in appreciation of the psychological benefits of kicking his ass.

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